Simple Best Man Speech Example
Andy’s Best Man speech
Good afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen, first off I would like to thank you all for coming and making this a memorable
day,
Personally I would have found it far less nerve wracking, if you all had just stayed away,
To put my nerves into perspective, and help you understand,
This is the fifth time today I’ve stood up from a warm seat, with pieces of paper in my hand!
Now you may have all noticed a pattern, in how in the spot light, I’m using my time,
Yes I’ve decided to do something a bit different, and do my Best man’s speech in rhyme!
***
Before I crack on and get going, I must be sincere and frank,
There are a people who need to be mentioned, and those I need to thank.
First off David and Julia, without whom Beth would not have been born,
Plus thanks for putting your hands in your pockets today, the food & wine is going down a storm!
This morning was a flurry of moisturiser, hairspray and hair straighteners, I’m sure the house was left
in a real state,
But it’s all paid off, and as I’m sure you’ll all agree, the Ushers and groom are looking great.
Seriously though the bridesmaids have been an assest to Beth and kept her topped up with Champagne,
Louise and Becky you look gorgeous, and have helped keep the rest of us quite sane.
And finally to Beth, as Johnathon has already mentioned you outshine us all today,
You definitely put his looks to shame, on this your Wedding day.
***
Now on with my naming and shaming, but first I’ll let you know who I am,
My name is Andy B, and I’m obviously Johnathon’s best man.
I’ve known the groom for about 10 years, and it was through telesales that he won MY heart,
On the sales floor of a quality publication, that was and still is, the Exchange and Mart!
He smoked 30 fags a day at his desk, so didn’t have a lot of fans,
But I still chose to sit next to him, since I was attracted to his incredible hairy hands.
We worked together for 3 years and became inseparable, I just loved his arrogant ways,
He kept me amused and entertained, throughout our telesales days.
***
They say marriages are made in heaven, and sanctified on earth,
Well the Chav tastic Blue Orchid in Croydon, was where this marriage had it’s birth.
“I am so hungover” was the best line, that Johnathon had to say.
Beth was glued to the Blue Orchid’s sticky carpet, and couldn’t run away.
But rumour has it she was weakened by alcohol, making this an opportunity not to be missed,
Since it was on that sacred, night that they shared their first real kiss.
***
Now 5 years have gone by since that special sweaty sticky night,
And here we all are in (venue name) to celebrate tonight.
Johnathon was a little nervous earlier, when we were stood waiting in the church,
The usual worries of whether she’d get cold feet, and leave him in the lurch.
As the moment got nearer, and he was stood sweating in his dress shirt,
He felt he really understood how Chewbacca felt filming Star Wars scenes in the desert.
***
So he really is a very hairy boy, but just look on the bright side, there are a lot of advantages too,
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