Father of the Bride Speeches
Page 4
Father of the Bride Speech –Funny
Thank you all for being here with us today. It is a wonderful occasion when a family gets
to pawn off their beautiful daughter on an unknowing man. I was not sure which way to
take this toast today. I got all kinds of advice on how to present this. I knew I could be
sentimental and sweet, or I could just be myself.
(Bride’s name), I know you have taken after your mother more than you have taken
after me. Your love of taking over the bathroom for hours on end to pamper and primp
and your endless hours of standing in front of the mirror trying to find the perfect outfit is
something your mother still does to this day.
(Bride’s name), I hope you can learn a few lessons from your mother and my marriage.
When you are driving around with (groom’s name), know that he does not have to stop
and ask for directions every time. In fact, let him find his own way, if he wanted
directions just let him use the GPS. It will keep you out of trouble and it will keep him
happy. Just as much as you can annoy him by trying to interject your opinion into
everything, he has the same ability.
(Groom’s name), I hope you have already set up a special shoe fund(can be changed).
(Bride’s name) has always had quite the (shoe) obsession. In order for peace and
cordialness to continue in your household, (shoes) are a must. Many women want
jewelry or flowers when you upset them. (Groom’s name), go straight for the (shoes).
Although knowing women and having been married to (bride’s mother) for so many
years, it wouldn’t hurt to go for the shoes and the chocolate and the flowers, and shoot
you may as well just go for the jewelry too. Trust me, it will save you from sleeping on
the couch later.
Also, (groom’s name) know that the threat we talked about when you first started to date
my daughter is still in place even though you are now married and a part of our family.
Just remember the only difference now is I know where you live.
(Groom’s father) and (groom’s mother) thank you for making all of this possible. Your
son is a member of our family now which means (bride’s name) is now officially a
member of yours. Thank you for taking her off our hands.
I am glad that all of you could be here. I am not sure which of you are their actual
friends and which ones are the actors my wife and I paid to be here. With that being
said, I am glad that all of you are here to eat all of this food and cake, I am trying to
watch my figure so bringing home doggy bags of this would not be good.
I did promise (bride’s name) I would not drag this on. So here is to the bride and groom
and here is to all of the happiness in the world as they enter into married life.
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